you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize