They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
