i just had sex bonerless
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I need moral support for this bender
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
