So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
