Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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