does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
