i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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