for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
