you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I love you.
Bad choice
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
