apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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