I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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