He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize