Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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