some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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