I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
