who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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