Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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