I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So squirting runs in the family.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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