He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
