We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
