watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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