i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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