And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
did you just send me my own nude
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
