He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize