Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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