There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
