So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
