he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
