True but thats because hes a fetus.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
