I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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