On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize