Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
