If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
