recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
