yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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