last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
