Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
