i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
