About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
