Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
