New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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