I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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