I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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