4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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