he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
