it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i need some magic done to my vagina
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
