The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
