somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm having to shit out rocks
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
