im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize