I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
