Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
