Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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