make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
