I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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