I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
