You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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