Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
