so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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