Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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