Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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