The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
