I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
