is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just found puke in my bra..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
