I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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